Libby

 

Libby has terminal cancer. I make no apologises that this week's post is all about her. To be honest she has completed dominated my week and I've thought of nothing else. 

This has happened so fast. We found a lump on Libby's bum under her tail. We thought it was a blocked anal gland, or cyst. Vet wanted to aspirate and send samples to the lab. At this point she told me she thought it was cancer and probably inoperable. A few days later it was confirmed. We were devastated. I presumed we'd get past her birthday but would we have another Christmas? Then last Friday I took her to see the surgical vet who examined her and told me she couldn't remove the tumour, and she could feel a second tumour on a lymph node so the cancer had spread. She told me Libby had about 6-8 weeks left. I was floored. She wouldn't even get to her birthday at the end of July! I don't remember much else. Chemo and radiotherapy was mentioned. I was adamant that wasn't right for her. She's happy and excited and running and jumping and you'd have no idea she had cancer! If she's going to die then I wanted a nice few weeks. The vet confirmed she wasn't in pain and she has no idea she's ill. 

We knew when we got her that dogs don't live forever but I honestly expected at least 12 years. She's only 6. She's so young. But the thing that is most distressing is that when we need to euthanise her she'll still be happy and excited and running and jumping. How hard will it be to put such a happy healthy (certainly not presenting as ill) beautiful dog to sleep? Basically, the tumour will grow and block her back passage and she won't be able to poo. Simple as that. It's this element that is crushing me. If she was older and ill I'm sure I'd feel a bit less devastated.

Anyway my vet sent her records to the animal hospital in Edinburgh. They want to scan her to see if they could operate and remove all her tumours. This could give her another 12-18 months! Compared to a handful of weeks this seems amazing. A glimmer of hope. She has her appointment on Monday. 

But now I'm confused. What I want is for them to say we'll give her a tiny operation and she'll live until she's 12 and it'll just cost a few hundred pounds but that isn't happening. What ever Monday brings we have to weigh up what we need, what's best for her and how much it'll cost. 

Before we got Libby I had an imaginary Great Dane called Alfred. We'd never had a dog before (I had a lab when I was a kid) and had never really wanted one. Then all of a sudden I wanted a Great Dane! After about a year of the imaginary dog my husband got worried that I was very close to getting a real one. As he said 'a small horse walking around the house'. He was panicking. I googled labradors. There was a litter just up the road. By that afternoon we were visiting them. Is it even possible to see puppies and not buy one? Two days later we brought her home. (To be continued...)

 

Some people will never understand how much I love my dog. But that's ok because she knows.