Home bird

 

Ellie and I were invited to a charity ball last weekend by my work. The big boss bought the tickets which was great. A young 23 year old lad was raising money for a cancer charity - being 5 years in remission himself. It was a chance to get dressed up and have a nice meal with a few drinks. Ellie bumped into my sister in law on the dance floor though her aunt didn't recognise her. Now I'm not saying that Ellie scrubs up well but... We managed to stay until 11pm (I'm sure Ellie could have gone the distance) much to the shock of my sister in law (they got home past 2am I believe). It may not be a surprise to you guys but I realised how much of a home bird I am. I struggle to go out at all, my first reaction would always be to decline an offer. I'm sensible enough to know that never going out would be unhealthy and I always try to ignore any anxiety and just do it anyway! But it is hard for me. I don't mean going out during the day, shopping or out for coffee or lunch it's only at night. And no, it's not a fear of the dark lol. If you knew me when I was younger then you will know that I was a party animal, I loved going out. Drinking and dancing the night away. I'm not sure what's changed. Yes I'm older, yes I'm constantly tired, yes I love my home. I hate getting drunk (like really hate it) but I still like drinking! I don't know what it is but I'll continue to make myself do things, I don't want to miss life! And life is short after all! Though I'll probably continue to leave the party early. Sorry.

I think someone has swapped my son! He's been giving me mega hugs, watching TV with us (a brilliant French drama) and playing along with Richard Osman's House of Games! And he's super bright - he knows so many answers and quick with it. He's been leaving me and Ellie standing! The amount of weird stuff he knows is, well, weird. It's been very nice though, long may it last. 

Happiness is not by chance, but by choice.

PS the drama is Astrid, Murder in Paris on More 4. It's very good!