My fur baby

It was the hardest decision to make. Mark and I discussed it and thought it was time, she wasn't eating very much at all and had diarrhoea. She didn't have much energy and looked sad. The vet confirmed they could do a home visit and called first thing on Thursday with a time. I honestly thought it would be about 5-6pm but they said 11:45 which just felt so early. I was in shock, I thought I'd have all day with her. Unfortunately I must have misheard because they came at 10:45. I was distraught but it was the best thing for Libby. She was so good and slipped away peacefully. It wasn't any easier because she was the brightest she'd been in a couple of days. Walked longer in the field, jumped up for a stick and even ran when it was thrown. She ate a sausage and wagged her tail so happy. Was it too soon? I was so upset and confused. The vet confirmed that she was ready. And so it was done and she has gone. 

I have worried that others wouldn't understand my grief, but reconciled that lots of people have dogs and have gone through the painful process of losing them. Even though, did I love Libby too much? Just days ago in the Daily Mail there was an article by a journalist who's dog died at Christmas. I was sad but it comforted me that I was normal. My broken heart is normal. 

Thank you to everyone for your emojis and messages. Your support for us is amazing and I feel such comfort from your wishes and love. One friend send a nice phrase 'Everyone is taught that angels have wings, but if you're really lucky you'll find they have four paws'.

She was of course the best dog in the world (very closely followed by yours). She was beautiful and clever and just full of joy. I'm so proud of all the things I taught her, but especially how to shut the door! She was so bright and gave us so much happiness. And she gave us unconditional love, every moment of every day. I will miss her so very much. If you have a dog please give them a cuddle from me. I might try and cuddle my cats later, wish me luck, their cuddles are not as safe as Libby's. 

Last night we wanted to watch funny TV so we put on Brooklyn 99. It was the one where Charles had his dog put down. And Rosa bought him a puppy - a golden Labrador puppy! Who can actually believe it. Made us all cry but laugh at the irony of it all. Sometimes life has some weird coincidences. I'd like to think it was Libby having a joke with us. 

Thank you for reading and I'll be back next week. The picture is her last, taken on Wednesday evening. God rest her soul.

Grief is the price we pay for love, worth it a million times.