Oh bugger

So you may remember that a couple of months ago, when I wasn't doing too great, Mark and I went away for three nights. Now, I admit, we certainly had a fab time - full breakfasts, chocolates, dinners and puddings, with lots of alcohol - but I came home 3lb heavier. Now my long term readers will know this is normal for me, 1lb per night. I had a little panic, cos I wasn't wanting to diet! I honestly thought I'd go back to my 'normal' eating and it would fall off. It didn't! And there's more. Mark and I just had another three nights away. It was so lovely and this time I didn't go mad. I had my normal breakfast, normal lunch, very little chocolate and only one pudding! But yep, you know it, I put on 3lbs. So I'm almost half a stone heavier than my 'I'm never going to diet again weight'. And there's still more - one week today I'm off to Turkey with Ellie. For seven nights. Seven nights = 7lbs. I'm fully prepared to be a stone heavier than I was. What am I going to do? And why does it feel so unfair? Mark ate full breakfasts instead of his usual bowl of cereal! He ate chocolate and puddings. And did he put on 3 lbs?! No he bloody did not! I'm mad and I'm sad and I'm pissed off. I really want dieting to shove off but I just can't become even heavier! Bugger, bugger and bugger! I don't want it to spoil my holiday, there will be cocktails! And once we get home I'm going to my cousin's wedding, then a couple of nights away with my sister and brother in law, and then it's Christmas! There's no hope! I'm a completely lost cause! 

On a positive note - I'm very excited that I have almost emptied my chest freezer! I've been trying for months and months as it's needing to be defrosted and cleaned. It's normally packed but there now enough room for a dead body. Though I'd rather it was ice cream. And I wonder why I'm fat? 

Libby is doing ok. She's still being a bit weird when it comes to get fed but she's full of beans and seems her normal happy self. It's exactly 18 months since her diagnosis and 8 week prognosis so she's still my little miracle. 

For every minute that you are angry you lose sixty seconds of being happy.

This week's job exercise is from my ex colleague at citizens advice. It's a funny format but I'm just going to copy and paste her words.

Hello everyone 👋

My name is Michelle , I met Gilly almost 7 years ago,when she appeared as an egar volunteer and instantly our friendship begun🥰

I think everyone needs a Gilly in there life ....end of .

The included pictures was only a small snippet of the hard work me and gilly did ......well sometimes 😝😝🤪🤪

I have worked for Citizens advice Scotland for almost 17 years and I love it! As Gilly can attest it hasn't always been the best environment but I am a strong believer in every cloud has a silver lining.

Since 2020 I have been working on a project within CAS network called the Gambling support service. Our main aim is to support anyone suffering from Gambling related harms. This role as you can imagine has its good and bad  points, for me personally I would have to say that seeing the relief on someone's face when they realise they can get finally get support makes it all worth it . Gambling is almost always the biggest most shameful secret somebody has and can be the most alienating addiction at the same time , so seeing somebody who has been gripped by this finally being free is why I do it.

The worst part for me is knowing that somebody needs help,they have asked for it but they  can't make that leap to be free is just heartbreaking . 

Quote: 

Success is not Final :

Failure is not Final :

It is the courage to continue that counts .