Just Gilly

  If you're expecting a quick repartee I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you. My funny bone is wearing a plaster-cast. My Eeyore cloud has turned into a storm. I've not been coping so well. My house is like a mental asylum. My daughter is doing great but my son is struggling. Even Libby came into our bedroom at 3am Wednesday morning having an anxiety attack! It was one of the alarm sensors beeping due to a low battery. She doesn't like strange noises, and I was panicked because I didn't know what was wrong with her, and obviously any strange behaviour is worrying, incase it's a step closer to her demise. I can't say too much about Isaac, as that wouldn't be fair but I can say his Asperger's is having an effect. He's dealing with a lot of changes just now - coming home to live, getting a full time job, volunteering for National Trust and about to go to a new university to do his masters! And his difficulties and struggles are so hard to watch...

  Libby has been for her quarterly vet review. Normally we get 'she's doing really well but I'm sure this time she only has 4 weeks left' and then we're back 3 months later! This time the vet didn't try to tell me she would die within a month. Libby was told 'you're amazing and a proper miracle'. And long may it continue! Of course one of these days the vet will be right, but we're still taking it a day at a time and she's living her best life. My mum got a friend to paint her (see this week's picture). It's such a good likeness and I love it!  I've taken my wedding ring to the jewellers to be sized. It was a strange feeling. I was excited because it's been too small to wear for about 8 years, and I've missed it, it means such a lot to me. But it was also sad and disappointing because it is another nail in the dieting coffin. I haven't had it sized before now because I was going to slim into it, obvs! But my slimmer bo...

  I think Mr Milne got it spot on when he wrote about Eeyore. We all have mental health, some good and some not so good. And mental health is flexible, ups and downs! Mine has been a little down lately. I've been walking around with a dark cloud above my head. Nothing serious, I've not fallen into a black pit of depression, just a mild melancholy. I'm worrying about both my children just now, of course I am, and I'm struggling with my decision to never diet. I haven't changed my mind, it is still the right choice for me, but after a lifetime of diet habits it's hard to shake. I'm not content with my size or shape though I hope I'll get used to it, eventually. But food has been so important to me that I'm finding it difficult to get rid of those rituals - the guilt after consuming some types of food or the daily (often twice daily) weighing on the scales, and my paranoia that people perceive me to be sub standard compared to my thinner friends, family...

  FAQs Part I (25 Feb) was about my blog. This edition is about the general questions I'm asked all the time. How do I stay so young looking? Well I tell everyone I'm 53 but I'm actually only 41. How do I keep my figure? It's tricky I tell you. This is not my natural figure, I have to work really hard at it. After my healthy breakfast of berries and yogurt I then eat chocolate. This is followed by more chocolate. Then some chips and more chocolate. If you want to look like me you need to be dedicated. Throw in copious amounts of alcohol just to ensure you're not disappointed. Which of my children is my favourite? Well I've known Ellie the longest and she's definitely more house trained. Isaac makes me laugh and he's cute. Mark is obviously just a big kid but he gives me his wages so I can't disregard him. My favourite has to be the one who has never said 'oh mum, get off!' when we cuddle. Has never said 'I don't like that and won'...