Self improvement

 


Well there you go. All the tiny nuances - my cold showers, manicured nails, smarter days off dressing, walking, home cooking (I've not discussed this one yet) all the little things that I somehow thought would make a difference, would make me better, obviously haven't made a blind bit of difference! I have no idea why or how having a cold shower would make me better? A better person? A better looking person? A more wholesome person? I'm exactly the same person I always was. I'm disappointed that I don't feel different. In my head I just wanted to be a certain kind of person - physically, mentally and morally better. I see myself getting up in the morning, doing some yoga (outside in the sunshine) then making a healthy green (grass?) smoothie. Dressing in an expensive silk blouse and tailored trousers after my cold shower. Nails hair and makeup all subtle but perfect! Good grief. I can't believe I'm actually telling you all this. I'm an idiot. I've had a manicure but my hair is like rats tails! I've had a cold shower but I'm wearing my old towelling dressing gown. I've been sat in the sun but doing sudoku not sun salutations! I wasn't expecting a personality transplant. I knew my level of intelligence, kindness, empathy, homour, selfishness etc would be the same (I'm not that daft) but I did think if I amended the things that I could, I'd be calmer, more confident and less clumsy. I wanted to feel different. But I don't, I don't feel any different! I guess Gilly is just Gilly. I am what I am. Painted nails and t'ai chi doesn't change that. Oh well, what a surprise! 

Now Isaac has moved back home we have a babysitter for Libby. Mark and I have had a couple of days away. We've just been staying in Aberdeen but in a new hotel and in an area I'm not familiar with so it very much felt like we were somewhere away from home. It was lovely. We had dinner out one night and dinner at the hotel the other. We had breakfast out one morning and breakfast at the hotel the other. We've drank wine and been to the spa. We both had a massage and went to the gym! We had such a nice time, just the two of us. Life is so good and I'm so lucky.

You might have noticed that I now name my family on my post rather than just hubby, son, daughter etc. It occurred to me that now I'm no longer posting on Facebook, where any Tom Dick or Harry could read it, it's just you reading this. Only those who have been personally invited to read. Seemed silly not using names as I'm pretty sure you all know who my hubby is! Lol

You don't have to be perfect to be amazing.


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