In the bin

 

I wanted to share the Mother's Day card that I got from my son. It's a little worrying that ever since he's been old enough to choose/purchase a card for me it's always had an alcohol theme. Wine glasses and wine bottles generally. Bless him. I especially want to share what he wrote inside -

To Gillian 

Happy Mother's Day 

From Isaac 

Now since it was for Mother's Day it would have been nice if he had addressed it to Mum/Mom/ Mummy/Mother? But Gillian!? Not even my name (what 99% of people call me) Gilly. Gillian is very much my naughty name. And a Love Isaac would have been better. And who doesn't give their mother kisses xxx? Isaac, that's who. I don't want to come across as ungrateful as it did make me smile. My son is my son. And I love him. (Just to keep things balanced I received a lovely homemade card from my daughter. A picture of a cocktail glass and a recipe for a Mumtini. Why do my children think I'm an alcoholic? And I love her too, obvs). 

Now to the other great love of my life - Libby! She's doing fine, though eating is still a little bit of a trial. She's getting her food little but often and now seems to want it soggy with hot water. She really is doing fab though. 

A quick update on my diet - there is no diet! I could leave it there but you maybe want info. It's not that I'm just eating fattening food (though I am) it's more I've lost my focus and intention. Do I really think this time will be different? Will I work hard, beat myself up, celebrate my loss only to put it all back on again like I have so often? Why will this time be different? And I still watch all those people who have lost weight, waiting for the inevitable gain (I'm sorry if you disagree but this is very much how I feel at the moment). I'm pretty low, which is mostly based on Libby's condition and the pain in my heart. Will I feel different later? Who knows, but that's how I feel today! I should add that I am conscious of not stuffing my face and putting weight on, I am at least doing enough to maintain. Life is shit sometimes.

I want to tell you something that I hope you'll keep to yourself, I'm only telling you. It was a difficult decision but something I've thought of for a while. I've binned all my little knickers. All my thongs and g-strings are gone. In fact anything that was uncomfortable or didn't reach my hips! Sexy has gone leaving only Bridget Jones - proper belly warmers and I'm happy (old, but happy).

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today.